He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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