WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
