But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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