Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
