whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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