oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We got so high we made milksteak
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
