these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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