i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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