There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
