when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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