i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
