We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
