Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
