Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
