problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
