I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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