he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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