I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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