so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
