so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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