Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize