What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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