New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
