You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
