Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
