Dignity is for republicans.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
