I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
