Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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