guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
