He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
