I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
