Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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