i would punch a child for taco bell
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
