Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The ass gains better be worth it
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