I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I FOUND THE LEGS
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
