dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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