Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
