While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Randomize
