He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
