I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
