ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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