After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize