look no pants
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize