He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
