My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
