im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just forgot I was standing up.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize