Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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