I'm pants shitting drunk right now
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
