So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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