sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
