Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
