Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
