This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
