Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
