I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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