Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize