I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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