i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize